A Limited Time for Every Purpose

Song stuck in my head today: Beastie Boys -- High Plains Drifter

In the lobby during dinner break:

The Crying Yogi (as Bikram has dubbed Julie), stood next to the Smart Water fridge and howled in tears, as everyone went about their business. She wasn't trying to hide it, but she wanted to be left alone. She just needed a place to cry. I can only assume she cried in class as well.

She did tell us. She wasn't just whistling Dixie, sister.

Some of you may know Naked Tony. The first time I met him, it was in a bar and he was clothed. Casual conversation led to mention of his occasional nudism: "Sometimes, you know, you just need naked time." Okay. Some people are vegetarians. Some people run at 5:00 am every day. Tony gets naked once in a while.

A month or so later at a party, half the room suddenly flocked to the windows to witness a to-do on 15th street. I expected cops, a fight, a car wreck.
Then someone said, "Some guy's naked on the street!" Again, I expected a crazy homeless man, foretelling Armageddon. But it was just Naked Tony.
Now, had I not known about Naked Tony and his Naked Time, it might have seemed bizarre and scandalous. But because he told me, I saw him and thought, oh, well, that's Tony. He does that.

With just a bit of warning, behavior commonly regarded as abnormal can be rendered into plain old Naked Tony and Crying Yogi. Some days, you know, you just need to tear down everything in your room and start from scratch. Uncle John, well, he laughs at funerals. Always has.

Andy Warhol once recommended telling people all of your faults as soon as you meet them, so they won't suffer any unpleasant surprises. Perhaps the secret is introducing them not as faults, but as perfectly normal, limited-time behavior that others may just not find familiar. "Limited Time" also implies that this is a special offer, that if they witness or even share your behavior, they're getting a deal. Naked time. Crying time. A moment of silence. The long dark teatime of the soul. A last chance clearance sale on personal demons.

Act now, because EVERYTHING MUST GO.